Balance Your Thoughts to Be Calm When Afraid - March 20, 2020

This is the end of the 2nd worst (most fear filled)  week in my life. And I am still standing. It is not what actually happened to me in the past week that made it so difficult. It is what I imagined could, and would happen as a result of everything that was unfolding around me.

I purposely don’t listen to or watch the news. And for the past couple weeks that would not have been a good idea. I needed to know what was happening to be able to make decisions. Some of the fear I was feeling helped me to make better decisions. It is really the intensity of the fear that causes the problem, and being immersed in an intense level of fear that leads to panic gets exhausting.

Over the last week all of the workshop training sessions I do have been cancelled for the foreseeable future. Hearing that news triggered a lot of fearful thoughts, some anxiety and even some catastrophasizing!

One of the training sessions I deliver for MTEC, is a Courage, Confidence and Resilience session. In the session I share a technique for dealing with fear which is simple 3 step process to limit how long we let that the fearful thoughts go on and how to balance and use that fear. It’s just as OK to be afraid and angry as it is to be happy and joyful. I set a limit on how long I let myself stay in the fear spin cycle. When there is no more new information it is time to move on.

Step 1 is to Be Aware when you are feeling fear, and decide when the intensity of the fear or how long you have been immersed in fearful thoughts is enough, then call a time out.

Step 2 is to use the time out to Balance Your Thoughts. Imagine you made a list of all your thoughts and grouped them into 2 columns, Fearful on one side and, Courageous on the other side. Leave a space in the middle for the Trusth.

When I am gripped with fear as I was at times this week, most of the whiteboard were filled with fear. And there was nothing on the Courageous side of my imaginary discussion. Fear had its opportunity to be heard. It was time hear from some of the more positive thoughts. Was there anything to be happy about? Joyful for? How about Love? Love is one of the most powerful energies and can soak up a lot of fear. What could I be greatful for or appreciative of?  Balancing my thoughts almost always works to keep me calm. To further add to the power of the positive thoughts I say them out loud.

Step 3 is to look at the space in the middle of the two lists and make notes about what you know to be true. What are the facts? And make sure these are facts and not an opinion, prediction or commentary on a fact, only what you know to be true. When I hold a fearful thought up to the light and examine what part of it is true, it helps me to know when to listen to the fear and when to have the courage to Decide and Do, which is the third step.

If you are feeling a lot of fear make sure you give your other voices a chance to be heard. Once you have a balanced view of the situation it will hopefully help to move forward and focus on the truth of the situation.

Take care of yourself and the people around you, stay healthy and well. There are a lot of people working at capacity to deal with this situation and appreciate what is being done.